Good Bye 2019

The greatest part of 2019 is how much we grew as a family and how serious I took my self-care.

Going into 2020 with an open mind, grateful heart, and full of gratitude. I took self care and applied it fully. I took a medical leave in order to really take care of my mental & physical health.
Things could’ve really gotten out of control, but having a team of doctors, great insurance, and being determined to get my health under control, I’m ending the year on a much higher note and very optimistic.

My sisters, I don’t call them friends cause it’s so much more, pushed, supported, loved, uplifted, and made me feel cherished. Starting a podcast with my sister, keeping my blog going thanks to my big sister encouragement, having my oldest sister step in and help me with the Littles when I needed breaks. I’ll do everything in my power to show them how much I appreciate them for sincerely loving me.

My children, my heart in human form, kept me going, gave me a smile every single day, taught how to be patient and kinder, and really taught me about being intentional. The greatest part about being their mother is the feeling of unconditional love and watching them grow. I will never truly be able to thank the most high for blessing us day after day with the absolute most amazing children.

My lover, my handsome man, we came back together just as it was intended. The person who allows me to vulnerable without judgement, holds me accountable, and encourages me to be more. I love him for being the father that Peyton deserves and the role model that Dillon can look up to. On my toughest days, he helped me keep myself together. We grow and challenge each other consistently because we believe in each other. I don’t think I could ever repay him for being who he is to me and to our children.

Thank you all for your support & love. I’ll keep it going strong for 2020 and beyond.

• The Kimber

Mommin ain’t Easy

I’m going through a autoimmune flare, low energy, super cranky, my menses began, and shit just isn’t where it should be. Dillon and Peyton both have little colds so they’ve been up at night due to congestion, which means I’m up at night. Sleep is imperative to healing. I’m not a up all night and day kinda woman, I needs my rest in order to recuperate properly. I hate how irritable and flustered I feel. I just drink water, eat real food, stay away from the fried and dairy as much as possible, plus I try to find something to keep me smiling, and every single time I go looking, I find my photos of my Littles. Even when I’m not feeling well, I want them to feel incredible, but I can’t overexert myself, or I’ll be in the hospital and we can’t afford that. When my days get low, the little snuggles and kisses from The Littles makes every single thing better. Being a mom, being their mother, is the greatest blessing I’ll ever receive. Peyton & Dillon are truly the best parts of me. If you can spare some love, uplifting energy, and positivity I could really use it.

They deserve the absolute very best I can give them. (CK Marley Photography)

Dillon and Mommy

Peyton and Mommy

Christmas 🎄 Cheer

Grandfathers Weekend

Update: check out a sneak peek of our annual fall family photos! My little family and I had a stupendous weekend! Yes stupendous! First things first, my gastrointestinal symptoms are finally beginning to taper off thanks to my new amazing doctor (yes I’ve changed my primary care doctor 3x in year but guess what it was worth it) I’m at about a strong 76% as far as the nausea, vomiting, and weakness goes. I held a whole conversation without gagging once. Secondly, Peyton and Dillon got to spend time with both of their grandfathers Saturday and Sunday. You all know how much I miss my granny, but I never even got to meet my grandfathers, so I try my best to make sure they have a great relationship with their grandparents. Saturday, we hung out at Mueller lake park where we played on the playground and fed the ducks thanks to a sweet family who had extra crackers to give. It was Peyton’s first time feeding and Dillon just wanted to lounge and watch the ducks fly. My dad instructed her on how to do it so she wouldn’t be afraid, it was the cutest thing to watch. Sunday morning I went to take my dad some good old homemade chili and cornbread I made (shout out to coopcancook.com for the awesome recipe) before he headed to church, once we got there we decided to have breakfast at our favorite spot kerbey lane cafe in mueller! My dad gave both of the babies their first taste of coffee... it reminded me of when granny and I would sip coffee and eat tea cakes while watching the stories when I was 4 or 5 years old. Dillon hated it but Peyton wanted more, so of course grandpa obliged. We went across the street from to a newer park in the Mueller development and met a friend who called himself Hulk. We played, ran up the hill, read a story book, relaxed in the hammocks and then decided let’s take a walk to the farmers market! It was dad’s first time so he was floored with all the activities and free samples. Peyton actually took her first pony ride and was so excited! We couldn’t believe it! She’s normally afraid of animals but she loves the pony named Doddlebug! After the pony ride we met up with Damon and his dad at Hoover’s for lunch! (First Sunday in a while where I didn’t cook anything thanks so much grandpas) the Littles needed their naps so they were overly active but it was so great that got to see Grandpa John again! After lunch we headed home and they all took a nap on the couch after watching Toy Story 2. I of course couldn’t slept so I read, caught up on my shows and took the cutest pictures of them napping. This by far has been one of the most beautiful weekends of 2019. Fills my heart to know that my littles and our family has so much love to give and receive. How was your weekend? Do you have a relationship with your grandparents?

Both grandfathers with their grandson

Ode to the postpartum body & mind

After year one of Peyton I became vegan, so I dropped the baby weight quickly and I even felt better. I was happy in my own body and loved the compliments I received from everyone about my “SnapBack”
The interesting thing was just a few months after having her I was in therapy trying to figure out why I had thought of people harming her, of the absolute worst things happening to her.

I smothered my baby with love and kisses and thought I could do the best for her. I became irrational in my thoughts and nervous anytime she was out of my eyesight. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression.
I didn’t understand. I didn’t wanna harm my baby, I wanted to protect her from every bad thing... I stayed up nights watching her sleep to make sure she was breathing, trying to keep SIDS away from her. I wanted to cry because I was tired and needed rest but I couldn’t sleep, what if something happened to her while I was sleeping or while I was away.
These thoughts almost crippled me. I didn’t wanna work or be away from her. It wasn’t until I started attending a postpartum group that I started to understand the reasons why my thoughts had been so intense was due to my lack of sleep, lack of nutrients, and my previous diagnoses with depression. I found out that I’m more prone to postpartum depression and anxiety with every pregnancy I have. So I took everything I knew, researched, found a doula group here in Austin, and became vocal about my struggles on social media.
So though my body may have looked well, in shape and snatched... my mind was barely there. And it hit me again, even harder with Dillon. I can recall Damon coming into the bedroom and I was rocking on the floor with Dillon because he wouldn’t stop crying and I didn’t know what to do, he grabbed him from me and told me to rest. After working a 12 hour shift, he came home and made sure I rested while caring for our baby boy.
This type of love and care was a necessity in my healing. He cared enough to coax me back to health, and it took a lot longer and even more group therapy to get better but it happened and I’m here today because of it all.
Mamas and daddies, pay attention to the moods, the thoughts, and actions.It’s okay to not be okay, don’t focus so much on your body that you forget to take care of your mind.

Photographer: CK Marley http://www.ckmarleyphotography.com