Wow!

He been avoiding sharing due to ALL of the beautiful, troubling updates of life but that’s why I share… to inspire, relate and release. Let’s start with the most recent and work our way backwards. First up…

• Physical health: I have an inflamed pancreas 🙃. I’d be sicker than normal these past few months and we couldn’t pinpoint the issue, well I received an official diagnosis this past week.

• Mental health: I’m a little anxious, due to diagnosis but other than that, I’m okay. I’m balanced.

• Emotional health: I’ve been so intentional about my emotional well being. I’m thankful to be given the freedom to be me again. To effectively communicate my needs and express my emotions.

• Spiritual health: it’s been beautiful to get back into community with my GMZ family and to have Peyton right alongside me. Encouraging me, sharing her relationship with God, asking and answering the hard questions. I’ve given it to God and load is so much lighter. Life is more manageable with God.

• Business health: https://www.blackgirlthinktank.co/sponsors had a successful BloomCon and we are currently fundraising (click the link to donate) Le Noire Sugar has an Etsy Shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/LeNoireSugarATX

The biggest news!!! I’s Married 🥂Now! AND I sustained another concussion 🤕

Promotion

SOOOO I GOT A PROMOTION!!! I am super excited and to be honest, it is loooooong overdue. I remember when I was in college all I wanted to do was get my degree and make more money. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do but I knew I wanted to do it at Apple and do something that I enjoy. Naturally project management is what I landed on because I have project managed my whole life, especially as a mom and an entrepreneur.

Here’s the thing that prompted me to write this blog: I have been on a medical leave for the better part of the year due to the miscarriage and my mental health. It is really hard to get a promotion or for the company to see your value when you aren’t there, so I understood the delays, but it became even more anxious when both of the Littles got sick as soon as I went back to work.

I started to panic because, well, anxiety. Thinking to myself, I am never going to advance and everything is working against me when I am truly ready to go after what I am capable of and deserve. Maybe it is meant for me to stay here (hello imposter syndrome). I also knew I needed a mentor because this is new territory that I am exploring and a dear friend of mine (Hey Mrs. Emery), suggested that I get all the advice I could to be successful in the PM world. I also loathed being on campus because of COVID, but little did I know that one 4 hour day on campus would change everything. I was able to link with my co-workers, meet new people and pitch who I am and what I wanted to do. That lead me to the mentor, the application process, and 2 interviews.

Everything in time. I am so happy to be ending the year on a higher note. I am also really happy that I will be able I have to learn to get out of my own way and allow the saying of “let go, let flow” to lead me where I am suppose to be, when I suppose to be present. I am going into 2023 with the mantra of: I am able, capable and deserving.

P.S. make sure you check out more of my entrepreneurial story in the Black Women in Business: Journey in Resilience ☺️

Magna Cum Laude Grad

If you’ve been following my journey up until this point you’re pretty well versed in my struggles but this blog is about my triumph. About a promise I made to myself when I was 15.

I started college in 2007 at Austin Community College at 20 y/o. I originally wanted to be paralegal, then I switched to sonography and then I quit cause WTF!

Truth be told, I lacked focused, discipline, and I didn’t what the hell I wanted to be or do at 20 years old.

It wasn’t until I became a mother, started working for an incredible company, and wanted more for myself and my family that I got real with myself.

I received my associate degree in liberal arts with highest honors in 2020 and NOW graduating with a degree from The Huston-Tillotson University in business administration, magna cum laude at 35 while working full time during a pandemic with two incredible children, an amazing lover, heart wrenching losses, working through mental and physical health issues, running multiple businesses, consistently volunteering, and being a community advocate.

Yes, I wanted to quit. Yes, it was too much at times. I stayed the course because I made a promise to make myself proud, get a degree in the field that would benefit myself, my family and make me an asset to my community.

Being a first generation college graduate in my family lineage, intentionally and passionately breaking generational courses.

I’M FREAKIN DOING IT!!!

Update 5/9/2023: The graduation ceremony was everything I didn’t know it would be. To be honest, I wasn’t going to go because it had taken so long to get here and I was being anxious. I’m glad I attended and I’m even more glad that my family was there to witness it all. I’m even entertaining the idea of getting my MBA, but it will have to make sense and be a part of the divine plan for myself and be cost effective. Check out the video of walking across the stage.

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Soft with Myself

Any time I am faced with adversity I ask myself if what I’m experiencing is trying to teach me. Is it patience? Is it kindness? Is it discipline?

While healing from our miscarriage, I’ve made it a point to really show up for myself mentally and emotionally. I’ve participated and completed a six week grief counseling program led by Hearts 2 Heal and Beyond the Happy, that gave me a space to just be. Being in a virtual setting with women who have experienced pregnancy/child loss helped me in a way I couldn’t have possibly imagined. I’m filled with gratitude.

The follow up to this therapy, because grief is a rollercoaster, is to meet with daily with Spiritual Sister and release the grief. This is new to me. I use my crystals faithfully, I meditate daily (word to Big Sean) and I am intentionally relaxing because overstimulation sends me into an intense space of anxiety that’s hard to come back from, I am trying every aspect of healing presented to me.

My next step will be intensive outpatient therapy. This is usually my last step of treatment before taking medication. It was very effective during my postpartum phases. 4-5 hours per day for 4 days a week. It truly forces me to look at the problem and create healthy coping mechanisms and heal my mental state.

The miscarriage has taught me gratitude and to feel all of my feelings when they arise. I can be happy and sad simultaneously without needing to chose an emotion. Being able to just be and being kind to myself. I challenge you to do the same. Be soft with yourself, heal yourself just for you, and take your time.