TRAVEL

Happy August 1!July was a whirlwind!!! 1st I completed my first full semester of college since beginning in February with 2 As and 2 Bs (pats self on the back). I worked really, really hard to keep my GPA up and make good grades. My last class was a doozy but it was a great challenge. Helped me to become a more insightful writer and reader. I'm also on a nice break until 8/29/19 which is when my next class will begin which is so necessary because GUESS WHAT?!? I need SURGERY!!!I've also been told that the gallbladder will have to come out and today is when I make the appointment to have it removed. I'd been having "gallbladder attacks" PLUS I have a complex cyst on my right ovary! Don't cha just love when you find out you're not nearly as healthy as you thought you were🙃... NOT!!! I'm mentally telling myself I'm ready for the surgery but realistically this is my first surgery since having the c-section with Peyton so I'm not too thrilled to be poked and prodded on but it's so necessary. The pain is unbearable... like sincerely I have to take prescription pain medicine just to function through out the day, I have these spasms that will occur in my lower abdominal area and back area... the pain will radiate and cause so much discomfort that the most I can do is lay down on my left side. My bestie sissy told me that I will make it through this, she explained the c-section was more of a major surgery that the gallbladder removal yet I'm still nervous and my anxiety is through the rough but I'm wearing a brave face.My niece is back in Houston and preparing to leave for DC to attend the amazing Howard University. Proud is an understatement but I will miss her so much. She's been my best friend through the summer, helping me with the Littles and just being a trusted soundboard I can vent to. If I'm being selfish, having her go away after having surgery isn't ideal but I know how much she needs this, and that trumps everything to me.We got to celebrate Peyton's 3rd birthday and Damon's 34th birthday. They both received a ton of love and I spent waaaay too much money, but they're worth more. Peyton ended having an impromptu birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on her actual birthday. She got to meet Fancy Nancy and have a princess tea party PLUS family came over the Saturday before to swim and bbq hot dogs. Damon got to celebrate his birthday in one of his favorite places; Brandon, MS. The birth place of Grandpa John. We hit the road in the middle of night just after 1:30 am on 7/26. We took our first family road trip to good ol Mississippi! Dillon and Peyton both got to attend their first McCray family reunion. The food, the family, the love, the laughter, and the hugs meant the world to all of us. They were so spoiled, as soon as we stopped at Maw Maw's they had popsicles, peppermints, and were playing outside. I love the joy I saw in Damon. He really loves his family and they love him too. Auntie Doretha spoiled us with breakfast every single morning, she even made it a point to watch the Littles so we could rest after driving, yes driving, from Texas to Mississippi. Cousin Angie showed us what a real family reunion looked like. She put together something you see in a Tyler Perry movie. Huge water slides, even a sweet baby pool for Dillon and Peyton, darts, volleyball net, bbq, more popsicles, and some of the best beans I've had since my granny left the earth. I can't wait to return next year. The drive there and back was awesome, Damon and I talked and bonded and I fell in love with him all over again ☺️. If Mississippi's school system wasn't so craptacular and the racism wasn't as radical I would truly consider moving without fear. But who knows what the future holds for our little family.

E N L A R G E D

Hey y'all hey!!! I wanna apologize for my inconsistency on posting but hopefully this post explains why. I've missed y'all and hope everyone is doing well. LOTS OF INFO AHEAD!Let’s catch up! We’ve moved to a brand spanking new apartment that I truly love. The energy is the new place is magnificent and free. I’m even inspired to decorate my home again. My psychiatrist took me off work to really treat my mental health, I’m learning just how serious having regular therapy appointments effects my mental and emotional health. I hadn’t seen my therapist since February and soooo much went haywire that I couldn’t handle it all. I felt myself going back into the dark space again, faking the smiles, being highly irritable with everyone, I knew something was off... I reached out to my acupuncturist, she stated she could tell my diet was off, I had 3 panic attacks while at work, it became too extreme. I’ve finished intensive outpatient therapy and it’s been life changing. Learning real coping skills, how to be in the present, how to take my health more seriously. At the beginning of IOP (intensive outpatient therapy) my primacy care doctor decided to run more blood work since it had been 6 months from our last checkup and to have a ultrasound of my neck. My psychiatrist had been pushing for anti-depressants and something called Seroquel to help me sleep. I opted for magnesium (which helps immensely) and removing the tv from the bedroom... once my results came back it was revealed that I have hyperthyroidism bought on by Graves’ disease. I had no idea how much had happened to my body after giving birth to Dillon... the ultrasound showed that my thyroid was enlarged and the blood panel... well, it revealed the rest. Even more, the irritably that I have been experiencing, the anxiety... all rooted in my thyroid. This is why I’m an advocate for my own health and not so quick to take medication... my primary doctor explained that the psych medication wouldn’t have helped anything. So, now I’m on a quest for an endocrinologist, eating healthier, and taking the necessary supplements my doctor suggested. I hope my story inspires you all to take care of yourselves and ask for the necessary testing surrounding thyroids which are T3, T4, TSH .

Birthday

Our baby boy is now 1 year old! I still can’t believe this beautiful, remarkable little human is here and mine to hold and celebrate! His presence has magnified the light in my eyes in ways I didn’t know was possible. I shared my fear of not being able to love him as much as I loved Peyton while I carried him. I don’t know if many parents feel this but I did... I never want my children to feel as if I favor one or the other but my little guy is loved, valued, cherished in the exact same way as I love his sister. I’m grateful y’all; beyond grateful for his sweet smile, his little hands that hold me, his baby drool that drops when he giggles uncontrollably, how much he looks up to his sister, I just can’t believe we’ve spent an entire year together already. Of course, we started the birthday celebration at Toybrary (toybraryaustin.com) where we got to meet Peppa Pig! I sincerely love this place! Awesome and clean play area, plus the outdoor space is perfect for toddlers and babies! We really spend hours there and it’s so affordable. The following day we spent outdoors at the Jazz in the Park ATX and wow!!! I found out my big guy loves live music and does the cutest little dance. We rounded out our weekend with a visit to Zilker Park for his photo shoot and our fun in the sun day, and we finished up his birthday celebration with a pool party at home. He loves the water!!! And it wears him out so he sleeps even better afterwards. I’m forever grateful that I was able to spend this week celebrating his first year of life and I truly look forward to celebrating more birthdays with him. Professional photos by: CKMarley Portraits (ckmarleyphotography.com)

I’m still here

Happy MondayThere has been soooooooooo much going on.For starters Dillon had to have surgery, removal of his adenoids. He’s been healing great and his appetite increased. If you notice some issues with your children, constantly sick, hard to breathe, snoring in their sleep, please please go see if their adenoids or tonsils are enlarged. I read an article that helped me narrow down what was going on with him since our pediatrician was not helpful at all. Also, I returned to school!!! I’m now a student at Huston-Tillotson University in their adult degree program! I’m working on completing my bachelors in business administration. I've written a blog piece focusing on the injustices of mothers of color and maternal health rates. click here to check it out https://www.rebirthequity.org/blog/thekimberz I’ve started podcasting with my sis on Facebook, every Friday night at 8 pm CST www.facebook.com/kandppresents And finally I'm back at work full-time. It's exhausting typing all of this 😩One of my issues has been writer's block. I tried to write two different blog pieces and kept getting hit with blockage. One was for my grandmother’s birthday, which was also when Dillon turned 9 months, trying to celebrate her memory and his life just made me sad, the other was for myself, just expressing what I’m going through overall.Now, I’m more able to speak freely and write openly without issue. The next phase of my life will be very, very, very busy and I’m so excited and look forward to sharing more. Sending you all great vibes and positivity. P.S. DILLON’s 10 months old today!! He’s crawling and standing. I can’t believe this is happening! P.S.S. Peyton’s been embarking on trying us as parents and saying no. 🤦🏾‍♀️ but nothing a stern talking to or a hand pop can’t correct. She’s just pushing her limits to see what she can get away. I’m learning patience and understanding.