Happy Year One

To everyone who has supported and been following me over the past year I want to say THANK YOU! You all mean so much to me and I’m so grateful to be able to, relate, release and most of all inspire. In the past year alone, I’ve returned to school and completed 15 hours, had surgery (still healing) celebrated so much with my little family and started a bomb podcast with my sister: Facebook.com/kandppresents.

Life has been happening and I’ve been maintaining as best as I can.

The older I’ve gotten the more I realize that the love I feel for myself is changing. I’m learning my tolerance levels change, I learning that I am hard on myself because I expect more from me. At what point do you say, “I’ve had enough and I am enough.”

I didn’t and I still don’t always understand what self love is... I get the gist of it but it’s still hard for me to really appreciate how necessary it is to my daily being. I pray that I get this in order for the sake of my children so that they don’t end up as neurotic and anxious I am.

But the love I have for them, it’s instant, it’s full, it’s overbearing. I fear that I won’t be enough for them, like my love isn’t enough, like I’m not protective enough. Despite the fact that they both light up every single time they see me, especially Dillon, Peyton’s becoming more of a daddy’s girl (reminds me of myself)

What am I most afraid of? Loving myself correctly will somehow make it to where I love my children and my guy incorrectly. Like giving to myself takes away from them some how.